A Second Chance
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: A simple question in his third year leads to a chance at leaving the stupidity of the Magical Communities behind him. Sure, he'll have to deal with homicidal monsters, masochistic roommates, a bored Sirius and the budding Harem that seems to be forming, but really, is it any different from his Hogwarts years? Harry/Gabrielle/Mizore/Yukari Updates will be slow!
1. Chapter 1

It was Harry's fourth day in Diagon since the incident with Marge. He had already gotten all his school supplies and a few books to read later, refilled his potions kit, gotten more treats for Hedwig, and he planned to refill his galleons at noon.

To be frank he was bored out of his damn mind!

So, when he went to refill his pockets, he decided to strike up a conversation with the goblin.

"Where _do_ goblins go to school anyway?"

The goblin, surprised by the question, actually answered him.

"We go to a private school called Youkai Academy. It's a place where monsters can go to get a degree without being bothered by humans. I've heard Witches sometimes go there as well instead of the bigger schools."

"...Can wizards apply as well?"

"Yes, but the earliest you could go is fifth year. It's a high school for non-humans after all. Why?"

"Does the Ministry regulate it?"

"Not as far as I'm aware. From what I've heard, they don't even acknowledge that it exists."

Harry thought about his options. After considering how much difficulty he had in Hogwarts, he decided to ask "Where do you sign up?"

The goblin blinked, then grinned.

"We can start your applications once we reach the surface. Though I would advise you to get caught up on your more muggle subjects. A degree in Youkai Academy is equivalent to a high school diploma in the human world."

Two hours later Harry had a list of books to study up on and a new card to buy things outside the magical alleys.

It would be two years before the repercussions of his talk with the goblin were felt.

* * *

_Harry's Fifth year, after the Tournament where Cedric Diggory lost his life..._

Harry looked at the calender. It had been a rough year, with all the suspicions and the betrayals. He would leave the magical world in a heart beat if he had the chance, but anywhere he went he knew Dumbledore's watchers would follow him to drag him back. Last year had been particularly hard, after watching Cedric die because of his stupid honor.

He almost didn't let the owl in when it arrived. He wasn't expecting any letter from Ron or Hermione, as the last had been particularly dry and uninformative. So when he opened up the letter, he nearly dropped it.

He had completely forgotten the conversation with the goblin. Hermione had wondered about his sudden interest in muggle subjects, but she had never really investigated it. After a while it was something Harry kept up out of a desire to escape from the magical world. Learning physics and calculus had been a boon from his fans and the school.

"_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_ As per your request two years ago, your application was sent and accepted to Youkai Academy. If you wish to continue your pursuit of leaving Hogwarts, please come to Gringotts no later than July 27th, where we will assist you in getting your new school supplies. If you cannot reach us before that date, let us know via owl so that we may provide you a port key._

_Sincerely Gringotts Bank."_

Harry didn't think twice, he grabbed a pen and a piece of parchment and wrote a quick reply.

"_Dear Gringotts goblins,_

_ Due to the resurrection of Voldemort earlier this year, I have been under relative house arrest. I believe Dumbledore has set watchers on my house, so escaping would be very difficult. Assistance in reaching you before the date set would be very helpful in this matter. Also, are familiars allowed in the Academy?_

_Sincerely Harry Potter."_

Harry handed his reply to the owl who delivered it. It hooted before flying off.

He had no idea that the watchers who protected the house were all on break, so they had no idea about the owl's arrival or departure.

In the meantime, Harry started to pack all his things in a backpack he had bought third year that had a permanent expansion charm on it. He had gotten it primarily so he could escape the house before he was 'rescued' by the magicals under Dumbledore's rule.

He had kept it stocked with all the things he would need to run away and never look back. No one knew about it, so they would never expect him to have it. He threw all the books he felt would be useful and anything he actually wanted to keep. Once he was done, he found that he barely had half of the trunk full. Lockhart's ridiculous books took up a lot of space, as had a lot of junk.

Hedwig hooted at him. She knew he planned to leave and not come back, and she approved.

The next two days were a long wait for Harry and his owl. Still, he managed to keep his departure under wraps, taking long walks outside the house, never paying attention to the news. Finally, on the third day another owl appeared.

Of course the timing could have been much better. Dudley and his gang saw the owl appear. After a minor fight and dealing with _Dementors_ of all things in Little Whinging, Harry knew his time had come.

He made sure to argue loudly with Vernon, who locked him up in his room. Petunia would no doubt be employing the cat flap from second year until he was rescued.

That was exactly what Harry was counting on. He kept an eye out for his watchers, and waited until the fifteen minute window appeared where they changed shifts.

By the time Mad-Eye took his shift from Mundungus, Harry was long gone.

* * *

"...I hate port keys..." said Harry. He had landed ungracefully in Gringotts with Hedwig on his opposite side.

"Most people do," said Ripfang dryly.

Once he got his bearings, Ripfang walked him through the admissions process. His application had already been accepted and confirmed, he just needed to make it there and get his supplies. Hedwig was equipped with a spell to get her past the barrier, since Harry still liked talking with Sirius.

Due to the mess Voldemort had created the first time around, port keys and other magical transportation didn't work at the Academy...unless it was to someplace on the grounds. Harry would have to leave the dimension in order to leave the school that way.

The goblins were more than happy to let him use the special doorways to the school so he could catch the regular bus.

It took him an hour, and a good dip into his trust to get more books that he could read later, but he was finally ready.

He couldn't wait. A second chance. A new beginning.

"You should be aware, Lord Potter, that once you begin attending Youkai Academy that you will be unable to return to Hogwarts. You can still take your OWLs and NEWTs, but your registered school will be Youkai Academy."

"So Dumbledore will lose his only hold on me? Good. I have no regrets."

"Very well. Here is the translation charm. It will slowly teach you the languages you encounter until you no longer need it. Whatever you do, try not to get killed."

"Thank you. For your assistance, I want you to transfer a thousand galleons to the goblin clans for helping me escape."

Ripfang's eyes widened. It was rare for the wizards to show any gratitude to the goblin clans.

* * *

Harry stared around him at Japan. He took one look at the nearest bookstore and grinned.

He had a few hours before he had to catch the bus. Time for a bit of fun!

Half an hour later he was smiling, feeling happier than he had in...well, ever actually. He wasn't being held down by the expectations or demands of the wizards. He wasn't being used like a pawn in a game had no understanding of.

He was just Harry. Something he wanted for years but never actually had. He looked at his new watch (he got it at this store that sold Japanese cartoons. Anime, he believed it was called) with the picture of a yellow mouse with red cheeks and black tipped ears. It was the only thing he recognized. He had fifteen minutes to catch the bus.

Harry ran to the stop, and found that he wasn't as alone as he assumed.

There was another boy there, though he didn't look like a demon or monster. In fact he looked decidedly mundane.

"This is the bus to Youkai Academy, isn't it?" he asked carefully.

The kid nodded, clearly surprised to see someone else.

"You just barely made the last bus," commented the driver.

"Shopping spree. First time I've been allowed to do as I please in concerns to shopping," said Harry.

He sat across from the human kid, though how he managed to get into Youkai Academy when the brochure said it was human free he had no clue.

As the bus rolled to it's destination, the two made small talk.

"So...what's your name?" asked the human kid.

"Potter Harry. You?"

"Tsukune Aono."

"How'd you get into Youkai Academy?"

"My dad found an application from a priest. It was the only high school that accepted me."

"...You do realize that there's a reason it's called _Youkai_ Academy, right?"

"I thought they named it because they had a fascination with demons?" said Tsukune.

"Seriously? You didn't know about this place?" said Harry in disbelief.

Suddenly Tsukune was having misgivings about going to this school...

* * *

Harry not only didn't react to the fact this pink haired girl was sucking on the kid's blood, he looked decidedly bored about it!

"I'm so sorry! I was just so thirsty..."

"I have some water if you need it," offered Harry.

"Thanks. But I'm fine now. I'm Akashiya Moka.

"Harry Potter."

"Tsukune Aono."

"Ano...do either of you like vampires?" she asked timidly.

"I don't have a problem with them. One of my uncles is a werewolf after all."

"So do either of you see the school?" asked Tsukune.

"Hold on... Hedwig, do you see any buildings up ahead?" Harry called out. His owl took off and hooted. She circled twice around them before flying in another direction.

"Um...would you like to be friends?" asked Moka.

"Sure! Be nice to have a friendly face to talk to," said Harry. They followed his owl who stayed within eyesight.

* * *

"All right, all you new students! Welcome to Youkai Academy! My name is Shizuka Nekonome and I'll be your homeroom teacher this year!"

Harry took one look at her and immediately pegged her as a cat of some sort. He was right in front of a blue haired girl who reminded him of a Veela, only the effect was more toned down. Next to him was Tsukune.

"I'm sure you all know this, but Youkai Academy is a place where Monsters can learn in a safe, human-free environment!"

Tsukune was starting to see Harry's warning. Apparently he had known about the fact that Youkai Academy was literally a school for monsters and the boy felt obligated to at least give him a head's up.

As Nekonome continued, Tsukune grew more and more panicked. Harry, on the other hand, was trying not to grin. The stay-in-human-form rule was absolutely perfect for him, because he didn't _have_ a monster form!

Poor Tsukune was absolute freaked, and it didn't help that another student started talking about eating humans.

"Well you see it's impossible for humans to get in here. There's a barrier that would kill them on the spot if they came in here."

"Say what you will, but I swear I've been smelling human ever since I came into here," complained Saizo.

"Um...that's my fault. I forgot to wash the uniform before I came and I was sitting next to a human on the train before I took the bus," said Harry. Saizo's attention successfully diverted, Tsukune breathed a sigh of relief that the guy wasn't looking at him anymore.

Moka broke all the tension by coming and taking her seat. Well, after she was done glomping Tsukune first.

* * *

"So this is my new room? I hope that my roommate doesn't snore..." said Harry. He quickly picked a bed and put his things away. Already he felt right at home here, and he didn't mind the fact that he was going to school with a bunch of homicidal monsters.

Once he was done, he stretched and took a shower. Hedwig was out hunting and it was clear she preferred it here too. He came out half an hour later to find his new roommate.

"Eh? Tsukune?"

"Harry?"

"You're my roommate?"

"I guess. I've been meaning to ask, why weren't you freaked out by all the monsters? You seem just as human as I do."

"Meh, I've seen weirder. Besides, I asked to come here two years before I came. So, are you...well...mundane?" he asked.

Tsukune had closed the door.

"Huh?"

"You know, human?"

Tsukune began to sweat. Was Harry going to kill him?

"I thought so. How the hell did you even get into this place anyway? I mean the entrance fee alone is a royal pain to pay and I would assume that you would need a charm to get through the barrier Ms. Nekonome mentioned..."

"You don't mind?"

"You seem like a nice guy and all, but I swear to Merlin if you snore I will smother you with a damn pillow."

"Wait, why aren't you freaking out? I thought monsters hated humans?"

"Technically I'm not a monster. But while we're on the subject..." said Harry, pulling out his wand.

"...Is that a magic wand?"

"Yup. I'm a wizard. It was either here or a place where people expect me to be something I'm not."

"So...you're not going to expose me?"

"If nothing else I could say you're a squib. That should get the monsters off your back."

"What's a squib?"

"Someone born from a magical family who can't use magic at all. Basically they are like regular humans except they can see through magic veils."

"Do you think it will fool them?"

"It's better than the truth. And let's face it, it would explain a _lot_ about how you got in here."

"...Thanks for giving me a good lie to use," said Tsukune. At least now he had an idea of what to say if people asked what he was.

* * *

"_Dear Padfoot,_

_ I'm sure by now you're wondering what the hell happened to me and how I escaped Privet Drive before any of Dumbledore's lackeys could get me. Well here's my secret._

_Two years ago I asked a random goblin where they go to school and learned that there are in fact alternative places to get an education. The only downside was that I would have to wait in order to fit the age requirement. Well, I am happy to say that Hogwarts is now a fading memory and I had no intention of going back. I don't have to deal with Snape here, or any end-of-the-year plots against my life!_

_Oh, and before you get any hair-brained schemes to get me out of here against my will, please inform that barmy old coot that port keys and apparition are warded against unless it's to other locations on school grounds._

_I can guarantee you Remus would _love_ it here, not only would he not have to worry about the students freaking out over his condition, they wouldn't even bat an eye!_

_Hope you're enjoying yourself as much as I am,_

_Harry."_


	2. Chapter 2

**"_Dear Harry,_**

**_ WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?! Do you have any idea how worried we were when we found out you were gone and half your trunk was empty?!_**

**_On that note, congrats for putting Moody and Moony into total freak out mode. It was pretty damn funny...listening to Molly's rant, not so much._**

**_Anyway, I'm glad to hear you're fine. Bit surprised you had this set up, but I can live with that. What's this school like? Any hotties there (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)?_**

**_Send me some info whenever you can...I'm bloody bored here!_**

**_Sirius."_**

"_Sirius, you are bloody hopeless._

_That being said, please enjoy these pictures I had the photography club print out for me of my classmates. I think the blue haired one is a Veela, or close to something like it. The pink haired one is named Moka, and she's a vampire. _

_I absolutely _love_ it here at the Academy...no one looks twice at me or expects me to be some sort of magical prodigy. In fact I haven't had to deal with a Malfoy in days, and I love it! I have this roommate who DOESN'T SNORE!_ _I may never leave here!_

_The classes are a bit weird, but they're infinitely more interesting than the ones at Hogwarts._

_Hope to hear from you soon, _

_Harry._

_P.S. No, I will not get you more photos."_

* * *

Sirius took one look at the photos and started drooling.

"That is one lucky bastard..." said Sirius.

"What do you have there Padfoot?" asked Remus.

"Harry sent me pictures of his new classmates. He said he thinks Blue girl is a Veela or something close to it."

Every single girl in the photo was either cute, hot or just plain attractive.

Remus stared.

"Sirius, those look like..."

"He said it wasn't a human school and Pinkie is a vampire."

"Where exactly did he say he was attending?" asked Remus.

"He said he won't tell me because he doesn't want Dumbledore to try and drag him back. Frankly I agree, with hotties like these he shouldn't come back."

Unknown to them, Ron was around the corner listening in.

* * *

Harry was heading out before Tsukune, and he happened to noticed something odd. A light purplish-blue haired girl was watching him.

"Can I help you with something?"

She mumbled something and Harry noted that Hedwig didn't mind landing on her. Quite the opposite in fact.

He walked closer and heard her request. Apparently she had figured out he was a wizard and needed help getting her room to cool down.

"So you want the same spells I had put on Hedwig's post? Sure, I can do that after classes. What's your room number?"

She smiled and he didn't stop grinning.

After classes that day he learned her name. Mizore. She got along great with Hedwig, which was all he cared about since Hedwig rarely got along with anyone who didn't treat her owner well.

* * *

"So Tsukune, why is the Veela girl following you like a love sick puppy?" asked Harry later.

Said girl looked mortally offended.

"I'm not a Veela!"

"Sorry, but you give off a similar vibe that Fluer and her sister gave off. Veela is the closest thing I could think of."

"Why you..." she growled.

"Just to be clear, I'm immune to your little aura. Hell, Fluer commented on how odd it was that I wasn't affected by her's."

"You jerk! How dare you compare me to those two-bit tramps! I am nothing like those fire breathing harpies!" she yelled.

"Chill out!" said Harry backing up. Angry females was never a good thing. It only meant pain for the men.

Hermione had taught him that by the way she took out Ron. And the way Lavender and Parvati dealt with Seamus and Dean's peeping on them. Well, let's just say Gryffindor was filled with perverts and there was a reason most of the girls never tried to maul him aside from his looks.

Harry was essentially one of the extremely rare males in the dorms who didn't look at girls like they were eye candy and instead treated them like people. The fact he had a healthy respect (read fear) of them worked to his advantage.

Kurumu looked ready to geld him for that comment. Too bad for her a freezing cold hand grabbed her shoulder before she could act on it.

"Wha...?"

Mizore, the snow girl Harry helped earlier, looked at tad annoyed. Harry's payment for making her room more tolerable had surprised her, but she had agreed anyway.

All he asked in exchange for a few cooling spells was that she be his friend, since the only people he knew were Moka and Tsukune. Since he didn't mind the fact that the room dropped several degrees around her, she didn't mind behind his friend. Besides, she really liked Hedwig. The owl reminded her of home.

Harry decided to defuse the situation another way. Bribery.

It was worked wonders on the girls of Gryffindor.

"I can get you some good hair and skin care products from outside," he said quickly.

It wasn't that hard, and he had seen a few magically run stores on his shopping spree. He had already worked out a long standing order with a bookstore to stay up to date on his manga.

Kurumu paused in her attempts to geld the wizard.

"What kind are we talking about?"

"The good stuff," said Harry.

"We talking name brand here?" asked Kurumu. All the school had was generic and even the most expensive brand wasn't that good.

Harry nodded quickly. He could live with helping her get name brand hair and skin products.

"Get me those products and I'll forgive that Veela comment," she said.

"Deal."

Harry noted the looks Mizore was giving him.

"I can get stuff for you too if you want."

Mizore nodded with a satisfied look on her face. She could already tell that she liked Harry...he was friendly and open and didn't look down on her.

"Sorry I'm late!" said Moka.

"By the way, if you're not...well you know, then what are you?"

"Succubus."

"Ah. Sorry for the mistake. I've never encountered one before so that's probably why I mistook you for one."

"What the hell are you anyway? Most monsters never encounter Veela except goblins, and you sure as hell aren't one!"

"Oi, don't insult the goblin clans. They are rather nice so long as you don't mind the fact they are greedy. Anyway, I am classed as a monster otherwise I wouldn't have been let in here."

"Oh please...they are spiteful people who only think about gold. Anyway the only monsters I know of that are in regular contact with Veela and goblins are..."

Harry, in a fit of evil inspiration, charmed Kurumu's hair the exact same shade of pink as Moka's.

"Look Moka, it's your long lost twin!" he said.

Moka covered her mouth in a bid to hide her laughter. It served the Succubus right for trying to take Tsukune from her! She wasn't very successful.

"What..."

Tsukune gave her a mirror. Why he had that on him, Harry had no idea.

"YOU LITTLE! This is why people hate witches!" snarled Kurumu.

"...You do realize I'm a guy right?" said Harry amused beyond reason.

"I don't care! The only species who interact with goblins and veela are witches! They barely rank as monsters anyway!"

"What's the big deal?" asked Tsukune.

"Ano...Witches are considered half-breeds by monsters because they can blend in with humans, yet don't have a real monster form. Most monsters can't stand them," said Moka.

"And the irony here is that I'm a half blood, so the term applies to me twice," grinned Harry.

"Any way most monsters dislike them because they're neither human nor monster, but halfway between both," said Moka.

"Back in the Dark Ages witches were hunted down because of their ability to use magic. But very rarely did it ever work, because by that time they had successfully created a flame freezing charm that just tickles you when you were set on fire," said Harry.

He sighed. Well at least here they wouldn't bother him about being able to use magic. Plus he had yet to run into the bias that he felt back home about non human creatures.

* * *

"Wow Harry, you got second place!" said Tsukune.

"Huh?"

Tsukune pointed at the midterm board. Harry had no idea what Midterms were, only that they reminded him of his finals at Hogwarts.

"So who got first?" asked Harry. He went up and found the first place.

"Yu-ka-ri Sen-do... Who's that?"

"I don't know. I don't think she's in our class..." said Tsukune.

"Tsukune! Harry!" Moka called out.

"Konnichiwa, Moka-san!" said Harry. He was getting better at Japanese without the charm.

"Wow Harry-kun! You got second?"

"They weren't that hard. Staying awake during history was the hardest part..." said Harry embarrassed. His eyes were turned when he heard a commotion. A younger student (which baffled him since he thought only fifteen or older could apply) was being ganged on by three others. He watched as she twitched what he could only assume was a wand (though it looked beyond ridiculous and reminded him of some magical girl toy) and caused three washbins to crash on the other three.

"Oi! What do you think you're doing, harassing a kid like that?" said Harry loudly.

"None of your concern brat," sneered the one with the armband.

"It is my concern, because only the lowest form of scum would gang up on a child," said Harry coldly. His right hand twitched, and a slim wooden stick appeared. He wasn't afraid to hex them sideways for bullying a kid.

They backed off when Moka, Tsukune and Mizore backed him up.

"Che. This isn't over Sendo!"

"Eh? Sendo? As in the one who got first place?" said Harry in surprise.

"Um...Thanks Potter-san," said the little girl. She was either cosplaying as a witch, or she _was _a witch. Harry decided to take a gamble on it.

"Not a problem, Sendo-san. After all, it's the job of the sempai to take care of their kohai's," grinned Harry. Thank Merlin for that translation charm!

"But we're in the same year!" said Sendo surprised.

"You're not the only one who can cast real magic here!" grinned Harry, holding up his wand. She gaped as she processed what he was saying.

It seemed Sendo had figured out Harry's real message. He was a witch too, albeit of a different class.

* * *

"Sempai, arigato!" said Sendo, tackling him in a hug.

Harry patted her on the head with a grin...it was like having a younger sister. It seemed Yukari had very few friends, so having someone stand up for her was a novelty.

"So Yukari-chan, do you have a familiar yet?" asked Harry as he sat down across from Moka and Tsukune.

"Nope!"

"Would you like to meet mine? She's a bit overprotective, but she can tell good people from bad in a heartbeat!" said Harry proudly.

"Neat!" said Yukari. She absolutely adored Harry because not only was he like her, but he was super nice to her!

"In fact... Here she comes now with Mizore-chan," said Harry.

Mizore had a stalkerish personality, but Harry overlooked it because she didn't mind hanging out with him after classes. Hedwig, in an effort to enjoy the cold that Mizore exuded without trying, tended to sit on her shoulders whenever possible. It was an arrangement the two could agree to.

"Hedwig!" Harry called out. She took off from Mizore's shoulder and flew to his hand.

"So pretty! Can I hold her?" asked Yukari.

Hedwig gave her a long look before walking onto the girl's hand. It was an odd feeling of those sharp claws on her hand, but Hedwig made no move to attack.

"So sempai, who taught you magic?" asked Yukari. Hedwig was loving the way the girl stroke her feathers.

"I went to Hogwarts. Dead boring," said Harry.

"EH!? Hogwarts, as in the most premier magical school in all of Europe?! I thought it was super hard to get in there!"

"Not really. I've been going there since I was eleven, but I never really liked it there. For a premier school it barely has any decent classes. Frankly I like it here better."

While Yukari bugged Harry for details about Hogwarts, Tsukune and Moka were enjoying their lunch.

* * *

Tsukune stalked up to Harry two days later, eyebrows twitching. Yukari was out of control! She kept hitting him with random objects simply because he was friends with Harry and Moka! It was driving him nuts!

"Oh dear. She's harassing you just because we hang out?" said Harry.

"Moka refuses to do anything! She seems to think Yukari needs protecting from being punished at all."

Harry shook his head.

"I really pity whoever marries her. When she has kids, they are going to beyond spoiled rotten... Don't worry, I'll deal with this."

Harry debated on whether to put his broom away, since he had planned to fly around later. Instead he opted to shrink it so he could fly later.

"_Point Me_ _Yukari..."_ said Harry, holding his wand.

It jerked towards the southeast, and the signal wasn't that great.

"...Why is she so far off the grounds? The swamp is really misty there!" asked Harry to himself. He looked to Tsukune.

"Tsukune-san, you get Moka and take her to the swamp area to the south east. I think Yukari got into some trouble," said Harry.

"You got it!" said Tsukune.

Harry took off on his Firebolt, heading to the swamp area. Soon he found his suspicions correct as Yukari was backed into a corner by others from her class.

"Yukari-san, look out!" he yelled loud enough for her to hear. Yukari spotted him and her jaw dropped. She got away from the tree she was backed against enough for him to grab her by the waist.

"You alright Yukari-chan?" asked Harry. Her wand was snapped in half and the three jerks who brought her there had already transformed.

"Get lost freshman! This doesn't concern you!" snapped the leader of the trio.

"It does when you gang up on someone younger than you! Besides... Wizards and Witches stick together!" Harry sneered right back.

"I should have known you were a Witch. Why else would you willing hang out with that brat?"

"Hey! Leave Yukari-chan alone!" said Moka, running towards the group. Behind her was Tsukune and Kurumu.

Harry took initiative. This was his chance to work out some misplaced aggression. So he kicked their teeth it by flying in low on his broom with his legs extended.

The force and velocity combined with his added strength just barely did the trick as they howled in pain.

"You little...!" snarled the leader.

He was taken out by an angry Moka, who's rosario had been removed by Tsukune.

"You okay Yukari?" asked Harry.

She nodded with tears in her eyes. She would have to replace her wand, but that was a small price to pay.

Harry was about to sit down when he was tackled by a small body.

"Harry-nii, I love you!" said Yukari.

"HUH?!"


	3. Chapter 3

"So we have to join a club within the first two months?" said Harry, walking down the road looking at various clubs with bored interest.

"What about the swimming club?" suggested Tsukune.

"Pass," said Moka and Harry in unison.

"Why?"

"I can't go near water," said Moka.

"One, I can't swim very well to begin with and two, only an idiot goes into a water club that's full of homicidal mermaids," said Harry flatly.

"Homicidal mermaids?" said Tsukune dumbly.

"What else would run a swimming club in a school full of monsters? And I'm making the general assumption that they're homicidal based on the fact nearly everything that attends this school has so far tried to eat you," said Harry.

"He has a point you know," said Moka.

"Of course they could be Merrow, but at the moment I'm leaning towards mermaids," continued Harry.

"What are merrow?" asked Tsukune. Moka looked equally confused.

"Merrow, the Scottish variant of mermaids. Of course most of those tales aren't nearly as friendly as that of mermaids...probably because merrow are part of the faerie set."

"So what do you want to join?" asked Tsukune nervously. Most of the clubs would eat him alive.

"Magic club. Or flying clubs, if they allow brooms or show me where to find another way to fly," said Harry promptly.

Being allowed to fly outside whenever he damn well pleased after classes was a godsend. Sometimes he didn't even have to wait for class to end!

"What about a nice normal club?" asked Tsukune nervously.

Harry paused, turned to Tsukune and put a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Tsukune, you'll just have to live with the fact that your roommate has nothing normal about him," he said solemnly. Moka giggled behind them.

"What about the newspaper club?" suggested Tsukune, casting an idea for something relatively normal.

"Boring! How about the ruin explorers guild?" suggested Harry, seeing a sign.

* * *

"So what exactly do you do?" asked Harry.

"We explore the various ruins around the school in search of treasure," said the zombie flatly.

"Neat. What positions are open?"

"Packmule, the whiny Voice of Reason, and the curse breaker," said the zombie back.

"Oi, Tsukune! Get your ass over here, I found the perfect club for you and Moka!" shouted Harry.

"What sort of club is this?" asked Tsukune.

"One in desperate need of someone with common sense," said Harry a little too cheerfully.

"You good with common sense?" asked the zombie.

"A little, why?" asked Tsukune.

"Good. Join us and try to keep us from going into the more obvious traps and you get a cut out of any treasure, even if you're the most useless monster around," said the zombie.

"Got any room for a vampire?" asked Moka.

"You any good?" asked the Zombie.

"She gets a major upgrade if the rosario she's wearing is taken off," said Harry.

"You're in. What about you kid?"

"This club have any issues if I join the magic club too?"

"Three of our members are part of that, so we try to avoid scheduling conflicts."

"I'm in."

"What good are you?" asked a werewolf, who was the Club's esteemed leader.

"A level fifteen trouble magnet and known for getting out of life-threatening situations. I already have prior experience so I won't lose my head in a crisis," said Harry promptly.

That had been one of his more...interesting...conversations with Yukari. He quickly learned not to look too deep into it or he might regret having a stalker best friend and a rather persistent underage witch who desperately wanted in his pants for some reason.

Had he known about the fact that several others would follow his example, he might have thought twice about leaving England. Or not.

"You're in," said the werewolf.

"By the way, what are the standards for this school?" asked Harry.

"Pretty lax. So long as you can read and speak somewhat intelligently and aren't classified as fully human you can get in. though it's preferred that you be under a hundred years in to start," said the werewolf promptly, having looked up that response.

Mostly because she wanted to know why there were so many idiots in the school.

"Hmm...this bears a rather well thought out response to this news..." said Harry on the way out, having been given a book on what the trouble magnet's job was.

Basically he made things a little harder than normal and got a bigger cut of the prize should he help get them out of the dungeon alive.

* * *

"_Dear Sirius..._

_ I have a proposition for you and Remus that you might both like. I have recently learned that the standards for being allowed to join this school of mine are lax. So lax that the test is simple and to become a student you just need to be at least fifteen but younger than a hundred._

_I should note that if you agree to join me, then you will most likely find a girlfriend who won't give a damn that you are a falsely convicted man or a werewolf. And just to be clear here Remus, there are several werewolves here. And you might get a job out of this._

_Plus I have been informed by the goblins that graduating from this school also counts in the muggle world so you should be able to hide much better._

_Now before you say no to more classes, I would like to point out that if you go through with this then you will be out of Dumbledore's thumb and into the fresh air._

_Not to mention the fact that I can finally hex you whenever you make Sirius/serious pun and beat your arse in Quidditch._

_Love Harry."_

Harry grinned as he set off the letter to Hedwig, who dropped it off at the nearest owlry in Japan.

* * *

"Everyone I would like to introduce two transfers," said Ms. Nekonome.

One looked about sixteen and had gray-blue eyes. His mischievous smirk drew the attention of most of the girls. The other was about fourteen and had half-lidded gray eyes and long pale blond hair. Harry recognized both immediately.

"Hullo Luna, Sirius," he said grinning.

"You are officially the best godson a man could trick his best friend into having," said Sirius happily as he sat next to Harry.

"Hmm?"

"Swapped Dumbledore's lemon drops for Lily's left over birth control from before the wedding," explained Sirius. She had stopped using it after the two decided to have kids and James had thought it a far too amusing prank not to try.

"And Luna?" asked Harry.

"I'm a reporter. When I heard where you were going Daddy agreed to let me go so long as I joined the newspaper club and revamp it. He's friends with the club supervisor," said Luna.

"Coincidentally I heard that a Veela girl is going to be joining the next class over," said Sirius with a smirk.

"How young?"

"About a year and a half younger than Luna," said Sirius.

"Kurumu is going to be pissed. She hates Veela," snickered Harry. He had a good idea who it was too, at least if that stream of French Gabrielle had said that he had translated after the tournament was anything to go by.

"So, who's available and who's not?" asked Sirius with a devil-may-care grin.

"So far the vampire and succubus have been claimed by Tsukune over here. His cover story is that he's a squib which keeps the majority of the monsters off his case. There's a girl name Mizore two classes over and if I'm right the Veela girl and a child genius is on my team," said Harry after thinking about it.

"Good god, this place is the natural breeding ground for threesomes!" said Sirius salivating.

"And from what I can tell there isn't any real rules to keep teachers and students from pairing up, though that's mostly a guess since the headmaster hasn't tried to stop the four murders I've seen off hand since I got here."

"Murders?" said Sirius.

"You're free to retaliate and defend if you like, but it's mostly the weaker monsters who don't have enough power to fight back that get killed this early on in the semester," said Harry.

"Why are you attending this place again?"

"No Malfoys, blood purity or the study guides from hell," said Harry flatly. He loved Hermione like a sister, but her compulsive studying habit he could do without.

"Carry on then," said Sirius cheerfully. So what if murder was common around here? With perks like the ones Harry listed and high chances of acquiring a threesome before the year was out, he was going to suffer the hell that was school!

Remus was already working as a substitute teacher here to replace anyone who got killed by the students.

* * *

It was dinner when Harry was tackled by twin missiles, one slightly older than the first.

"I thought it would be you. How's Fluer, Gabrielle?" asked Harry with a grin.

She replied with a long stream of French that swiftly turned to English with a simple charm he learned.

"She is fine, and wishes me luck," said Gabrielle.

"How on Earth did you all know which school I switched to, might I ask?"

"Your owl is most noticeable. Someone mentioned a boy buying up certain beauty products owning a snow owl and it was easy to make a wild guess where it was heading."

"Good thing Dumbledore and his lackeys have as much common sense to fill a thimble," said Harry cheerfully, sitting down.

"So you have a racket supplying beauty products to the girls here?" asked Sirius.

"They pay me a small fee and I supply them with decent products. The higher the fee the better the quality I supply," said Harry.

"That's my godson!" said Sirius with a cheer.

* * *

"So just to be clear, this new guy is really your godfather who drank a potion that removed a few years and the substitute teacher in charge of magical creatures is your uncle," said Kurumu.

"Yup. Luna here is from my school and Gabrielle figured out I wasn't at Hogwarts anymore and convinced her parents to let her come," said Harry grinning.

Kurumu glared at the younger girl, who had long since figured out what she was.

"What do you want hussy?" asked Gabrielle coldly.

"What did you call me you little tramp?!" said Kurumu angrily. This quickly escalated into an all out cat-fight between the girls, with Sirius adding a quick oil charm to the mix.

Finally Mizore managed to stop them by freezing both of them with ice. They were in a rather...compromising...position.

"Now why are you two fighting anyway?" asked Moka. She ignored the disappointment on Sirius and Harry's face...and made a mental note of the slight nosebleed on Tsukune's.

"I'm not about to let this hussy get Tsukune!" said Kurumu defiantly.

"I will not allow this...hag get Harry!" said Gabrielle with a hiss.

The two looked at each other, realizing that neither of them wanted the other's man.

"Truce?" said Kurumu.

"Truce," said Gabrielle.

"I officially _love_ this school," said Sirius with a shit-eating grin. So what if he had to learn muggle subjects and actually learn something. He got to see fights like this and spend time with his godson! A win-win!

* * *

"You want us to join the newspaper club?" said Harry. He liked the tomb raiders club. It was fun!

Tsukune had nearly been killed twice since joining the ruin explorers club, even if the payout was pretty good. As the official Voice of Reason (capital letters included) he had managed to keep most of the group alive.

Harry got more treasure than he did because he was the group trouble magnet and he also got them out of most traps.

Tsukune, however, was more interested in a normal club.

"I like not having to worry about my life every time I step into someplace dark!" he countered.

"Meh. If you want to join, the go ahead and join. Be sure to say hi to Luna for me will you?" said Harry bored.

"You're not coming with me?" asked Tsukune upset.

Harry's right eyebrow twitched. This was falling into a far too familiar and unwanted pattern.

"No, I am not joining that club. For one thing, I already happen to be in three and the newspaper club doesn't interest me in the least. For another, you hardly need me around to hold your hand when you have someone like Moka around to protect you and the hanger-on Kurumu," said Harry flatly.

He didn't want a repeat of Hermione and Ron, always hanging off him just to absorb his so called glory.

He liked having free time, and he could usually leave Yukari with Remus for an hour or two in exchange for magic lessons while he went out flying by himself. It was very relaxing, having actual time alone to himself.

Tsukune eventually joined the newspaper club, which had Moka and Kurumu promptly following him into. Luna greated them with open arms, as she had already 'trained' the resident werewolf to stop trying to peep on her while she wore a skirt.

Threatening to give him a Brazilian wax without any pain killers and then geld him with a very painful cutting charm worked wonders on his voyeurism.

* * *

"So remind me again why we're doing this?" asked Sirius, having joined the explorer's guild entirely out of boredom.

"We're raiding one of the various areas that are considered too dangerous for habitation in search of gold and or treasure! Possibly losing one of our valued cannon...I mean comrades along the way!"

"You were about to call them cannon fodder, weren't you?" said Samantha sweatdropping.

"Yes," said Harry bluntly.

Samantha turned to look at their newest recruits for the club (they were greedy idiots to join for the gold) and shook her head, as Guild leader she couldn't exactly blame their trouble magnet for being unusually blunt.

Considering he actually enjoyed living in a school full of monsters who believed witches and wizards were the scum of the monster race, she could clearly tell he had more than a few screws loose.

"Come my minion! We have much plundering ahead!" said Harry far too cheerfully to be normal.

"Well, at least he's never left us high and dry like the last idiot..." said the werewolf girl.


End file.
